The Menstrual Cup

I’ve been reading a lot about menstruation lately. About how we have considered menstruation as a shameful process for a long time that would be best not to have at all in our lives. I remember the terror I felt when my mother informed me what would happen with my body every month and when it finally happened, the terrible shame I felt going to the store to buy pads with my cousin. I also remember the disgust I felt when I found out about the menstrual cups. The idea of having to introduce it with my fingers and get them full of blood seemed revolting, until one of the videos where a woman explained how to use the cups I heard her say “it’s your own blood, get over it,” which made reconsider this issue which has been handed down from generation to generation that our blood is dirty, that we can’t talk about it or even mention it, much less touch it. It is certainly a bodily waste fluid, however I think our attitude towards menstruation is a little extreme and the use of the menstrual cup has made me question all this.

It’s my third month using the menstrual cup and it’s been a learning process. From learning how to put it on, to knowing my own body even more. The YouTube videos have been useful, but the actual practice has been the best way to learn, because each of our bodies is different.

 
I felt the need to use the cup not just because it’s more environmentally responsible but also because every pad out there available at most stores has some sort of “thermo control” chemical or component that literally sucks everything out of you and can even affect your Ph balance. I understand the smell is unpleasant but I think damaging my Ph is taking it one step too far.  I used to think the itchiness I felt after my period was over was normal until I read that it’s caused by the “thermo control” that ends up sucking up more than it should from my vagina. I never felt comfortable using tampons and I thought the cup would be uncomfortable too, but once I learned how to put it on, I have not found it uncomfortable at all. I still sanitary panty liners (found some natural ones online) but as my training wheels come off I’ll be pad free pretty soon!

I strongly recommend using the cup, it’s intimidating I know, I bought just in the middle of one of my cycles but I decided to wait until the next one because I was too freaked out. But as I’ve gotten more comfortable with it, I really find it is more in line with my body. It will save you money, it’s eco friendly and somehow I feel it has made me more comfortable with my cycle.

I finally got myself a bike. The wrong one for the hills of Los Angeles’ streets, but at least it’s pretty… Anyway I got it a week before the Luna Ride, and I knew I should have tried it out before and ride around the streets a little more before going out on a long ride but to be honest I’ve been scared. Scared of cars and streets and I don’t know how people do it on a daily basis! I have a cousin who lives in Mexico City, one of the world’s craziest urban jungles and he braves the streets on a bike. I can’t even think about going down the street by myself in this more subdued urban jungle of East Los Angeles or even the suburban jungle of Ontario. So I went looking for some bravery on the Luna Ride, or as the Ovarian Psycos Cycle Brigade would say, some ovarian power. There’s a reason their slogan is “Ovaries so big we don’t need no balls.” It is an all female, and female-identified bike crew, who also finish their rides with community meetings about social issues. This time the ride would end at East Side Café with a talk about the Zapatista movement.

I honestly thought that if I was just too tired I would tell them I was going to stop somewhere and call my husband to pick me up. But the Ovas weren’t having it. When they say they leave no one behind, they mean it!

The ride started out in Pershing Square, and though I was trembling and I felt so scared I also felt excited and just wrapped in this safety blanket of sisterhood bonding and all those warm fuzzy words I read about but never truly experienced until now.

About 25 women headed out from the Square onto Sixth Street, as one of them blasts music from their ipod snuggled inside a ukulele and street lights flash all around us. It’s all a blur of lights and night, people standing, looking at us ride out, a male voice yells “Boooooo!,” taunting us, some ladies yell back “Whose streets? Our Streets!”

“Why are they booing us? Because we’re all women?” asks the young lady riding next to me, who is also riding with the Ovas for the first time.

I am close to the first riders, but soon I start lagging behind, by the time the first hill rolls by I’m done, or at least my defeating mind thinks I am. I hear encouraging yells, “Come on girl, you can do it!,” “Keep going!”

We’re somewhere in L.A. I can’t see the names of streets, I can only focus on pedaling forward, trying to breathe, trying not to die. I’m not athletic, I don’t like running, I don’t like going to the gym, but this is as fun as it is exhausting. I feel the cold air rushing to my face, taunting me as it is encouraging all at the same time. It’s good weather for a run like this, a little chilly but not unbearably so, and the rain that forecasters warned about has decided not to make a cameo for the time being.

Another young woman stays behind with me. It’s Irma’s first ride with the Ovas too, but she’s been riding for 11 years, she suggests I put my seat up, because she notices my knees are bending too much. I bought a kid’s bike because I’m so short and with my last bike I basically had to jump out of every time I had to stop. It might have been a big mistake, but once they help me with the seat, riding is a little easier.

I keep going, still the last one. Maryann, on of the official members of the Ovarian Psycos and in charge of outreach, tells me I should yell “Wait!” or something but I feel too embarrassed. I know most are experienced riders, even if they haven’t been on the Luna rides, they know their bikes, they know the streets and they know what they’re doing. I don’t know if they want speed, but I know it’s getting late and I don’t want to slow them down. But still, they stop, and they wait. “Is everyone here?” “Not yet!” “Ok! Let’s roll!” and off we go, into nearly empty streets and hills.

We stand on a red light on the right side lane, then a car behind us screeches its breaks and makes us move closer to the curve. “Is everyone ok? That was scary!” asks someone. My guess is the driver got scared. I know what it’s like to see bike riders from the driver’s side and honestly not know what to do. Cars and bikes are starting to share the road, but it’s going to take a while before they start to understand where their limits are. It might take some laws and more bike lanes to shake L.A. out of it’s car culture.

I remember once getting out of the parking lot at work downtown, and heading towards the left lane, almost hitting a bike rider. He turned to me and looked as if I had willingly cut him off. I honestly didn’t see him. He wasn’t wearing anything bright enough for me to distinguish him from the urban landscape, he had blended into the street so seamlessly I wasn’t aware. Ever since then, I have become more aware of bike riders. I think that’s another part of the puzzle. Cars and bikes struggle to communicate, sometimes in a fight for street control, sometimes to look out for each other.

“Get a gear bike, if you’re serious about riding, it’s the easiest in the hills of L.A.,” suggests Josie, a mother of two who’s been riding for 11 years. It’s her first Luna ride, but she got rid of her car 4 years ago. “Honestly, it’s f—– hard! I mean it’s been glorified, but in reality riding everywhere is hard. If it rains, I have to think about how I to take my son to school,” she says. I honestly wouldn’t get that far. My new year’s resolution is to use my car less, but I don’t think I would get to the point of not using a car. I do definitely admire those who have taken the leap, or those who have never even bothered to ever buy a car. My friend Adam and my cousin Carlos are two of those kinds of freaks. Just kidding, I say that lovingly, they know that.

When I told people I was selling my car, some would instantly ask “But how will get around?” their confused and perplexed faces seemed to be asking, “But how will you breathe?” Yes, this is L.A. and cars still rule the streets, but there’s a new generation of bike riders that are challenging that. I did get another car, but I also got a bike, of course I didn’t get the right one, but it’s a process.

There’s another pit stop in front of a Zapata statue, or at least that’s what the other womyn say it is, I can’t find a plaque that states it but it’s a Charro riding a horse. I have no idea what street it was, I was trying to find my water and not faint. (Womyn is how many new feminists write women, because it removes the “men” part and it still reads as the dictionary-accepted spelling. I have also read wombyn, making reference to our wombs.)

We start rolling again. I don’t know how I’m still going, but I am. Then another hill comes. That’s it. I get off. I know I won’t make it otherwise. Albert, who I’m assuming is womyn-identified since it’s supposed to be a womyn and womyn-identified only ride, stays with me this time. “Use your heels, that’s where your strength is, use your thighs” he says. Or is it she? I don’t know… I don’t ask. I can’t even breathe. Whatever comes up… must gloriously come down. Finally the down side of the hill, but wait, now it’s too fast. I’m not used to the back pedal, my old bike had hand breaks. Slowly breaking. I’m so glad I didn’t fall.

We hit a gas station, some go in for snacks. That’s when Irma, Josie and her other two friends say goodbye, they’re hungry and there’s no food where our final stop will be. I consider staying at the gas station and calling the hubs. I check the map, we’re only supposed to be a mile away. Just one mile. I call him anyway but tell him to meet me there. I can make it. Somehow just one more mile seems possible, and I really want to get to the finish line. So I keep going. We keep going. It’s nothing really, except it’s still hill. This is why I’ve never loved L.A. I like L.A., but unlike most of Mexico City, where I grew up, it’s all hills. I don’t even like driving in hills, it’s this fear I have. San Francisco is out for me. We get to East Side Café, where womyn from the collective group ARMA will talk about the Zapatista uprising. I can’t even believe we got there. I can’t believe I did it!

Before the talks starts, Maryann thanks all of us for staying and being there. She thanks me, even though I feel self-conscious and embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up. “Sorry I kept slowing down.” “No, this is why we do this,” she and Gloria say, another official member of the Ovas.

Without Irma’s, Josie’s, Albert’s and Maryann’s help, company, conversation, and encouragement, and without all the companionship of all the womyn on the Luna Ride, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Still, once we sit down to hear the womyn speak, I feel like weak sauce. I’m almost falling. Then Gloria, sitting next to me, starts passing some hot cheetos, trail mix, peanuts, gummy bears. Whatever, I’ll eat it. I start being able to breathe again. Suddenly, sitting down listening to the ARMA womyn I feel it. This indescribable sense of magic and peace, something that could only happen under the full moon and I feel my strength coming back. Or is it mine? It’s all of ours’.

Virtual fundraiser launched for Ovarian Psyco Cycles Brigade Documentary

Indepent filmmakers have launched a kickstarter campaign to fund a documentary about the Ovarian Psyco Cycles all-female bike crew and community group. Their goal is to raise $10,000 by February 23. “In East Los Angeles, the Ovarian Psycos are not only a bike crew, they are a new generation of women of color building a movement,” reads the fundraising platform. I have not been to any of their rides, but hopefully I can make it to their Saturday ride. I’m very curious about them and given that co-producers and co-directors Joanna Sokolowski and Kate Trumbull-LaValle have received support from the Independent Television Service (ITVS) Diversity Development Fund, with funding provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB), I imagine there’s many who will be interested in their story. If you would like to check their trailer and give your contribution here is the link:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1743698310/the-ovarian-psycos-a-documentary-film

Who’s to blame? Everyone

I just came across this headline on Yahoo: “School shooting: Who’s to blame?” and it prompted me to say: everyone. Everyone wants children to be protected but no one takes the extra step, everyone is afraid to step in and help out when help is needed and it starts from there. Why do I say that? Because first of all, mental health is at the bottom of the budget at the federal, state, and local level and if we look at the need, there is a picture of despair. Even if parents ask and beg for help, there are simply not enough resources to help them out.

I worked at a mental health clinic for children for four years at the reception desk, and the number of calls we would get from desperate parents asking for help was three times more than what the clinic had budget for. Case workers had to make sure the situation was beyond the point of desperation to be able to offer an appointment, which meant many preventable cases were left to their own devices.

I’m all for better gun control, but if the general health system in the country is still generating controversy, there is even less space to debate on mental health. People don’t want to pay for other people’s healthcare, yet many of the problems that our society is facing today are due to health problems, including mental health. Many of our homeless people need medication, many of our children need help dealing with ADHD, autism, you name it, there is an illness named after it. Some illnesses are mental disorders, others are neurological disorders, either way there is no budget to help out all those in need. Many times with simple therapy treatment and medication, children can grow up and have healthy lives, but everyone needs to be involved in the treatment, that means parents, teachers, doctors, and yes, even tax payers, because sooner or later another tragedy will sadly occur and once again we will be asking who’s to blame. 

The Mayan Palace Nuevo Vallarta Resort raises environmental concerns for local residents

The Mexican newspaper La Jornada reported that the Mayan Palace resort being built at the Bay of Banderas in Nayarit,  known as “Nuevo Vallarta” has raised concerns of local residents who claim damage of  mangrove swamps and blocking access to the Nayarit Riviera beaches and the Ameca river which divides the states of Nayarit and Jalisco.

The resort’s management Grupo Vidanta stated they will not privatize the beaches and has taken down the barrier from access to the beach. PRD official Rodrigo Gonzalez confirmed the concession of the Island of Birds to the resort where crocodiles and birds live in the mangrove swamps.

Full Story.

Latino vote, women’s rights and diversity

The Latino vote is now a strong political force, and both parties (all parties) need to start paying attention or they will risk losing power. One of the most important issues for Latino voters, besides the economy which is a national concern, is Immigration reform and re-elected President Obama will need to work towards comprehensive reform on these next four years and create a solid result if Democrats want to reach the White House in 2016. What this election has proved is that Latinos are no longer a weak minority that can be pushed around.

It is true that many Latinos are actually more conservative on social issues and that is an aspect that the Republican party needs to address to find a stronger connection or they will be unable to reach across the lines. While George W. Bush was able to relate with the Latino community, Romney was unable to do so. The point is that Republicans have been able to capture the Latino vote before and if they want to do it again, they’re going to have to start looking for the Latino binders.

Speaking of binders, the so-called war on women had a clear winner yesterday: women. As Akin and Mourdock stayed in the race even after their controversial comments regarding rape and abortion, women and voters  in general decided enough was enough, and shut them down. What is the message? Don’t mess with rape and don’t mess with women’s rights. Rape is rape and it’s a horrible situation, and regardless of what stance anyone can take with regards to conception  and abortion, the comments from these candidates were despicable and show a deep lack of knowledge of women’s issues. The Republican party needs to understand that whether they are pro-life or not, they can not mandate the same beliefs on everyone, this is no longer a country where only one voice exists. It doesn’t mean they need to sacrifice their own beliefs, but they need to sit at the table and find a compromise.

Ironically, the Latino vote could be the answer to the Republican party’s woes on abortion and women’s rights. A large portion of the Latino community is deeply religious and is against abortion, so that’s something they’re  going to want to explore. I have a feeling that once Latinos investigate more into the Democrat party and see how progressive they are on social issues, they’ll start looking at the Republican party as an option, but not until the GOP comes to terms with the diversity issues that it has long ignored.

The Romney headquarters and the Obama headquarters yesterday showed a stark contrast of color. While Romney said his concession in front of a mostly white audience, Obama spoke in front of whites, Asians, African Americans, Latinos, LGBT folks, and more. It’s clear that minorities don’t feel represented by the GOP. It’s also clear that this is a new United States of America, and it’s going to be difficult to get so many voices together and get things working again, but it needs to happen.

Can the Justice League movie be any good?

When I read from Los Angeles Times that the Justice League movie was a go once DC won a legal battle against the heirs of Superman creator Joel Schuster, I wanted to start jumping up and down. My inner child, who still remembers the 70s and 80s cartoon Super Friends with absolute joy and giddiness, could not stop squealing.

Of course, many are skeptical it can be done right, for valid reasons. Unlike Avengers, which has become the most successful superhero film grossing $1 billion world wide, the JL film has less time to cook and simmer. Characters were carefully developed in their own franchises and each kept giving teasers in the end which enticed viewers to expect the Avengers film with anticipation. JL doesn’t have that luxury, however… and I can only speak for myself but seriously, who in the world doesn’t know Superman? Even Batman, who has gone through so many incarnations  is well known worldwide. Marvel had to develop Thor, Captain America and Iron Man because many people, especially outside the US knew very little about them.

True, the fact Batman’s latest incarnation was Nolan’s dark, more realistic trilogy could be harmful. But Batman is dark nonetheless, it’s just a matter of defining how dark JL will be. There’s no reason it has to be bright and cheery like The Avengers, in fact it could offer a stark contrast if it wasn’t. Batman is an outsider even within JL, he keeps everyone in check because he’s one of the few humans, at least that’s the way he is portrayed in Justice League Unlimited. JLU, by the way, is a brilliant animated series and Warner Bros should take notes from there. Also Justice league from the 90s along with Batman The Animated Series which is the best animated series ever in the history of the world. Ever.

To me, the hardest character is wonder woman because I honestly don’t think everybody will be happy with her no matter what. Feminists will complain she’s too sexy, some will complain she’s too manly, too weak, not relatable, I mean you name it, it will be said. So my suggestion is once again JL and JLU. She’s strong and she has trouble relating to people, which makes  sense, because she’s not human, but she has a good heart. I am also very partial to Shayera and I would love nothing less than to see Hawk Girl in the film but we’ll see.

The tone of the film should be ideally darker than Avengers, to mark the difference. Unfortunately, I fear WB will be looking for a PG version to get the kiddies in on the action and who can blame them really, I grew up on Super Friends, my inner child wants to see this film as much as my adult self.

But a lot depends on Man of Steel, Snider’s film coming next year. Will it be tied into the JLA film? Since Nolan is involved, and he’s not interested in the JL film, it’s unlikely, but WB needs to find some element of continuity which according to director Zack Snyder in a recent interview with the New York Post, they trust him to “keep them on course.”  Warner Brothers may be interested in making JL in 2015 because they’re scared the superhero trend will die down but that won’t happen. Many, many people have been waiting for this film to get made. I know I have. Many don’t trust it will be good, but if Warner Bros. play their cards right, they might just pull it off.

As far as the latest rumor floating around about Joseph Gordon-Levitt possibly being Batman, my knee jerk reaction was good, given that it would somehow give continuity from  Nolan’s Batman. But if you’ve watched Dark Knight Rises (spoiler) then you know that he’s supposed to be Robin, so maybe he can be Nightwing? In Young Justice there’s a Nightwing and a Robin but that might be too much of a stretch, too many characters would be detrimental to the Justice League film.

Of course there will be endless rumors going around this film until any solid material surfaces, and I will be dissecting all of them with joy.

Dia de Muertos Celebrated all over L.A.

It may be just my imagination, but it seems that every year there are more and more celebrations around L.A. for the Day of the Dead. I just did a small search around news outlets and social media and found at least 8 events happening this weekend and one that happened last weekend.

Traditionally, the Day of the Dead is celebrated Nov 1st and 2nd, the first day dedicated to the children who have left this realm and the second day for the dead adults. Here in Los Angeles, the first celebration of the Dia de los Muertos in the newly designed Grand Park downtown will happen today Nov. 2nd from 5:00pm to 11:00pm and it’s a free event for all ages. There will be altars and art created by local artists like Lalo Alcaraz, food trucks, face painting and more.

Besides the Grand Park event, there’s four other events today (that I know of). The one I’ve always heard of and went to once is the one at Self Help Graphics & Art’s. This will be the 39th Annual Día de los Muertos Celebration, and claim this  is “the first in the country to create a free public celebration of Day of the Dead.” From 5pm to 11pm @ 1300 East 1st Street, Los Angeles, CA 90033. Use the Goldline Metro (Pico/Aliso Stop) – No Parking On Site! Traditional Ceremonial Blessing • Food and Craft Vendors • Face Painting • Children’s Workshop. Louie Cruz Beltran and His Latin Jazz Ensemble, Casa 0101, Cambalache, La Chamba Cumbia Chicha, Buyepongo, La Misa Negra (Oakland), Mujeres en Resistencia (San Diego), Thee Paramounts, Pio Pico M.S. Band, Radio Sombra. Calaca Attire Encouraged.

Traditional Procession 5 PM Gathering Northside Mariachi Plaza at 1st St. & Boyle. Use Metro Goldline, Mariachi Plaza Stop.

Al Borde has been creating a Dia de los Muertos Music & Art Festival at El Gallo Plaza for several years as well and this year will not be the exception. From 7pm to 11pm @ 4545 E. Cesar Chavez, East Los Angeles 90022.

The 24th Street Theatre will have its 7th Annual Dia de los Muertos from 5pm to 10pm. The procession starts at Estrella Park to 24th Street Theatre, 1956 Estrella Ave., Los Angeles CA 90007 (Estrella Park is located off 23rd Street between Figueroa and Hoover).Look for the green signs. (5:00pm-5:30pm meet at Estrella Park and IDEPSCA will present a popular theatre piece) - (5:30pm-6:00pm) procession led by the Aztec Dance Group Huitzilopochtli from Estrella Park to 24th Street Theatre. Bring a flashlight. Music by Trio Ellas (Mariachi) y Andrea Zuniga, Dance by Aztec Dance Group Huitzilopochtli, Brazeros Dance Company, Colburn School- Folkloric Dance Company, and Tierra Blanca Dance Company. 24th Street Theatre: 1117 West 24th Street Los Angeles CA, 90007. For more information call 213.745.6516 or send us an email at: theatre@24thstreet.org | www.24thstreet.org

The Eastside Cafe will have a children’s workshop, a procession and play also today from 2pm-10pm @ 5469 Huntington Drive North, Los Angeles 90032.

For tomorrow, Proyecto Jardin will host its own Dia de los Muertos event with local artisan vendors, Calaverita Contest, Danza Azteca, Storytelling, Community Altars, Herbal Medicine Demo, Cooking Demo, Tamales & Champurado. Musical performance by Thee Commons @ 1718 Bridge St. Boyle Heights, 90033 from 2pm-10pm All Ages and Free.

For a more club experience, the Dia de Nuestros Muertos at Robertos Club, 686 N. Spring St. Los Angeles, CA 90012 will have bands Zapoteca Roots, La Misa Negra, Blanca Sandoval, and Primo-All Stars $5 Micheladas – $3 Coronas from 9-11 pm *FREE B4 10 PM* Full Bar (Cash bar-ATM inside) Patio featuring: Vendors, Art&Photo expo.

Last Saturday at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery several bands like La Santa Cecilia and Ozomatli played at an elaborate pre-hispanic inspired stage full of cempasúchil (Mexican marigold  also known as flor de muerto (flower of the dead). It was a diverse crowd, dressed up with painted faces like catrinas and skulls to remember those who have passed away and enjoy some good music.

So that’s the week’s lineup of Dia de Muertos events, hope you get to enjoy one or two. I’m gonna try to make it to Proyecto Jardin tomorrow, see what my little one thinks of the Day of the Dead (I already know she loves Halloween, it’s all that candy!).

-info from Al Borde and Whittier Daily News.

PR for Mexico

The theatrical release of “Hecho en Mexico” was only in Mexico, which begs the question, what is the documentary really about? Is it to say “look, it’s not really that bad here” to all the Mexicans who were angered by the election results or is it a true window into the Mexican music scene?

British director of the film, who is actually more of a music producer Duncan Bridgeman wrote on his Huffington Post UK blog post: “I really believed that the PR of Mexico was much worse than the reality. I was right. There is madness there but most of the 110m Mexicans are just getting on with their day, dealing with the crisis of lost love or worrying about their mum or trying to earn a living, or writing a song with a visiting musician. These were the people I was going to meet.”

He clearly set out on a journey to discover Mexico in his own way, the way many artists, musicians and travelers (not just tourists) do. The reality is that since Felipe Calderon’s war on drug trafficking begun, Mexico has been hit with a decrease in tourism and a lot of speculation about safety. Whether or not Bridgeman intended to show Mexico in a good light, it seems that many critics can’t ignore what he consciously avoided, as the interview on Frente indicates, he intentionally stayed away from controversial topics such as Mexican politics. I haven’t seen the film but I am still interested, partly because it seems to be a cultural expression of music and art in Mexico. I do feel that taking politics away from art is like showing only one side, because regardless of how people think or what they think, it’s a part of culture and avoiding controversy only makes it worse, it’s like silencing the opposition.

It speaks volumes that Televisa execs supported the film, especially now that the youth movement #Yosoy132 has been critical of the journalistic integrity and coverage that the powerful corporation has exhibited since its inception. I suppose the film could be looked at as a propaganda video from the powers that be, to show Mexico in a good light.

The way I see it is that there are good things and there are bad things about Mexico, and clearly Bridgeman’s documentary is meant to show the good things. One of those good things is the music, and I think that’s really great because Mexico does have some amazing musicians, and as a Mexican I love for people to learn about my country. I would also love it if people would stop considering Mexico only as a quaint little country that has a few cute songs to offer to the world. I’m glad at least more people know there’s more than Mexican soap operas and soccer though.

I would say, without watching the film, that it seems less of a documentary and more of Bridgeman’s audiovisual essay about Mexico. It seems to me that he was interested in experimenting with music and with musicians and trying to see what’s in Mexico that’s magical. Many great artists, musicians, film makers and writers have seen that which makes Mexico a special place, and it has nothing to do with whatever Televisa and TV Azteca produce. It has everything to do with the spiritual path that Mexican people have trailed on since Mayan times. Mexico has always had many realities, the oppression of its people by external as well as internal forces, the rich cultural heritage, the fragmented society, the few powerful, the north and the south. It’s not good to deny any of the realities, but I hope Bridgeman’s work about Mexico is more than propaganda and at least shows some aspect of Mexican truth.

Costumes and Princesses

My husband and I went to the store and got our two year old her halloween costume. We came really close to getting her the princess costume because we knew she would like it. Her mother, however, had stomach turning knots that would not stop stirring. Yes, I value freedom above all, and I want to respect her desires but there comes a time when I also need to evaluate the message she is getting about princesses.

There are princesses and then there are princesses, I am well aware of it. When we went to the book fair this year I was thrilled to find a toddler version of The Paper Bag Princess, the amazing feminist princess tale by Robert Munsch who in the end does not marry the prince, because even after she saves him from the dragon, he thought her dress was inappropriate for her bride to be.

My daughter loves to hear about the dragon but she also loves how at first the princess is wearing a dress. So I’m not too worried about her, because she will enjoy all kinds of things, not just princesses. However, it is still my job as a feminist mother, or as a feminist that I aspire to be, to put a check on the objectification of women and the portrayal of women in traditional roles. What is wrong with that? To borrow from Bailey Shoemaker Richards, because she wrote it better than I would on her blog post about Princess Week on SPARK (Sexualization, Protest, Action Resistance, Knowledge), the princess concept marketed by Disney and the like promote: “consumerist packaging of conformity in behavior, dress and appearance, and limiting ideals of normalized white girlhood placed in almost identical stories of princesses becoming princesses and/or getting married.”

What my daughter wears has to be comfortable with her but also with me, and though I believe in freedom and fostering her own interests, I believe in balance as well. So ultimately we decided on Super Girl, it’s pink with pink boots so it’s girly and feminine and it also teaches her that girls can also kick butt and save the world. My husband and I have been patient to accept her wearing costumes even though we don’t exactly celebrate halloween, but we knew one of her grandmas would pick a costume for her. So this time we took it upon ourselves to make a decision on what she will wear and I feel comfortable enough that it was the right decision. Next year we might not be so lucky, she might demand a princess dress and we shall oblige, however I will make sure to let her know that princesses are largely make believe and no one has the right to tell her she is not pretty enough or thin enough or that she can’t play sports or be an architect because she’s a girl.